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  • Apple launches new line of bendable devices

    26 September 2014, 10:21 am by: Stephanie Weehawk

    Cupertino, CA — With its new family of bendable iPhones selling in record numbers, Apple will now bring that same rubbery goodness to its other revolutionary products. Beginning next month, special “Flex” models of iPad and Mac will take their place…
  • Apple drops wearable bombshell #2

    18 September 2014, 9:43 am by: Lucas Meppen-Negal

    Cupertino, CA — Last week, Apple moved to the wrist. This week, it goes farther — all the way to the finger. At a special event today, Tim Cook & Co. announced Apple Ring. Designed to be worn on any finger — on either hand — Apple Ring opens up a new…
  • Enough already: Cook has Steve Jobs’ shadow surgically removed

    1 September 2014, 10:33 am by: Miyoko Yamada

     San Francisco, CA — Expect an eyeful at Apple’s September 9th special event. One thing you won’t see: Steve Jobs’ shadow hanging over Tim Cook. In a marathon 11-hour operation yesterday, Cook was surgically separated from the shadow that has…
  • Apple buys Yosemite Park to promote new OS X

    21 July 2014, 7:33 am by: Mario Bitensky

    Yosemite National Park, CA — Apple isn’t just thinking different for OS X Yosemite. It’s thinking very, very big. Parting with a bit of its loose change, the world-leading tech giant has acquired Yosemite Park from the U.S. National Park Service for…
  • Apple leaps into wearables with techy condom

    28 May 2014, 9:04 am by: Lucas Meppen-Negal

    Cupertino — No, it isn’t an iWatch. But Apple’s first entry into the wearable technology category is calculated to bring even more pleasure to more people. At a press conference this morning, Apple introduced iSkin — an Apple-engineered condom…
  • Beyond Beats: Apple spends another billion on cool

    13 May 2014, 11:56 am by: Stephanie Weehawk

    Cupertino — Finally tapping into Apple’s vaults of cash and bullion, Tim Cook is pulling out all the stops for what he’s dubbed “Project Cool.” On the heels of the $3.2 billion acquisition of Beats, Cook is spending a cool $1.3 billion to…
  • Apple rethinks stock split, goes for more gusto

    29 April 2014, 7:27 am by: Roland Greenfellow

    Cupertino — Take that, Wall Street! Apple’s Board just rescinded its proposed 7:1 stock split, replacing it with something a bit more dramatic. How does 10,000:1 sound? Starting on June 7, a single share of AAPL will decrease in price from its 4/24/14…
  • Food fight! New Apple emails reveal root of ad agency problem

    18 April 2014, 3:52 pm by: Miyoko Yamada

    San Francisco, CA — Emails presented by Samsung in court recently revealed that Apple thought of dumping its longtime ad agency, TBWA\Chiat\Day. Digging deeper, Scoopertino has uncovered a trove of emails that puts it all in context. Surprisingly, the bad…
  • Tim Cook: “innovation out, reality distortion in”

    19 February 2014, 9:28 am by: Stephanie Weehawk

    Cupertino — Is Apple having an innovation crisis? Not in Tim Cook’s view. In a far-ranging interview with Charlie Rose to be broadcast later this week, Apple’s CEO reveals a surprising new strategy: Apple will be the innovation leader without actually…
  • New Apple mothership to tighten security for God

    25 November 2013, 11:37 am by: Lucas Meppen-Negal

    Cupertino — Holy security, Batman. To reduce the risk of being hacked by false gods, Apple will soon require The Big Guy himself to pass an identity check before offering inspiration for future product designs. Building upon the Touch ID feature unveiled in…

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