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  • Apple eases Watch tattoo fears

    May 5, 2015, 2:53 pm By Miyoko Yamada
    Cupertino — Worried that your cool arm tattoo will spoil the fun of your Apple Watch? Don’t. Responding to reports that tattoos interfere with Apple Watch functions, Apple has acted quickly to allay the fears of its well-inked customers. In a press release…
  • April Fool: Apple’s new cash cow

    Apr 1, 2015, 11:28 am By Roland Greenfellow
    Cupertino — Eager to enjoy an Apple-quality prank on April Fools’ Day? Just pull out your wallet. Visit the online Apple Store today and you can order your own iPrank — which, for a mere $9.99, will make you the butt of an Apple-engineered joke. The…
  • Tim Cook pins Apple woes on North Korea

    Jan 2, 2015, 3:44 pm By Ken Segall
    Cupertino — Take heart, Jennifer Lawrence. It wasn’t Apple’s lax security that spilled your nude photos onto the internet. It was those pesky North Koreans. Apple CEO Tim Cook broke the startling news this morning during a closed-door meeting with a…
  • Apple launches new line of bendable devices

    Sep 26, 2014, 10:21 am By Stephanie Weehawk
    Cupertino, CA — With its new family of bendable iPhones selling in record numbers, Apple will now bring that same rubbery goodness to its other revolutionary products. Beginning next month, special “Flex” models of iPad and Mac will take their place…
  • Apple drops wearable bombshell #2

    Sep 18, 2014, 9:43 am By Lucas Meppen-Negal
    Cupertino, CA — Last week, Apple moved to the wrist. This week, it goes farther — all the way to the finger. At a special event today, Tim Cook & Co. announced Apple Ring. Designed to be worn on any finger — on either hand — Apple Ring opens up a new…
  • Enough already: Cook has Steve Jobs’ shadow surgically removed

    Sep 1, 2014, 10:33 am By Miyoko Yamada
     San Francisco, CA — Expect an eyeful at Apple’s September 9th special event. One thing you won’t see: Steve Jobs’ shadow hanging over Tim Cook. In a marathon 11-hour operation yesterday, Cook was surgically separated from the shadow that has…
  • Apple buys Yosemite Park to promote new OS X

    Jul 21, 2014, 7:33 am By Mario Bitensky
    Yosemite National Park, CA — Apple isn’t just thinking different for OS X Yosemite. It’s thinking very, very big. Parting with a bit of its loose change, the world-leading tech giant has acquired Yosemite Park from the U.S. National Park Service for…
  • Apple leaps into wearables with techy condom

    May 28, 2014, 9:04 am By Lucas Meppen-Negal
    Cupertino — No, it isn’t an iWatch. But Apple’s first entry into the wearable technology category is calculated to bring even more pleasure to more people. At a press conference this morning, Apple introduced iSkin — an Apple-engineered condom…
  • Beyond Beats: Apple spends another billion on cool

    May 13, 2014, 11:56 am By Stephanie Weehawk
    Cupertino — Finally tapping into Apple’s vaults of cash and bullion, Tim Cook is pulling out all the stops for what he’s dubbed “Project Cool.” On the heels of the $3.2 billion acquisition of Beats, Cook is spending a cool $1.3 billion to…
  • Apple rethinks stock split, goes for more gusto

    Apr 29, 2014, 7:27 am By Roland Greenfellow
    Cupertino — Take that, Wall Street! Apple’s Board just rescinded its proposed 7:1 stock split, replacing it with something a bit more dramatic. How does 10,000:1 sound? Starting on June 7, a single share of AAPL will decrease in price from its 4/24/14…
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